Time: 4:40 pm
Weather: Overcast and cold
Music: "An't no rest for the wicked" - Cage the Elephant
Mood: Introspective
----
"Dang you ugly!" I found myself thinking today. Then a moment later - "what on God's green earth made me think such a vile and terrible thing?". But then it begged the question - what is "ugly"? Some say beauty and ugly are polar opposites. But upon further inspection, I argue this concept seems to fizzle out. Beauty as Webster attests is"the qualities in a person or a thing that give pleasure to the senses or the mind" while "ugly" is "unpleasant to look at : not pretty or attractive". I acknowledge the fact that this definition may be limited in both depth and or even completely different from your world view. However, allow me these definitions for the sake of cohesion.
I believe then that since ugly - that which is unpleasant - resides in us as original sin then it is also a part of us. A sort of inheritance from Adam himself. And as with many things we must know our past in order to move forward in a meaningful and wise way. Thus, I believe it is imperative to not make peace nor make excuses about the ugliness within but rather pray to God and say "here it is - this rebellious and troublesome heart of mine. Take it, cleanse and cover it with your Son's blood that I may be washed as white as snow and approach the throne of grace and mercy".
In this way, we own it and lift it to the one who can heal. Out of these thorns we cling to Jesus ever tighter.
Monday, April 20, 2015
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Remembering a memorable life
Time: 4:29 pm
Weather: Snowy and cold
Music: Green Hornet - Kill Bill
Mood: Enlightened
----
I would wager many of you have been anxiously awaiting my latest post with baited breath! But truthfully I know that to be a vain expectation. The return to Seoul searching was prompted by my most recent exposure to a game changing proposal: the only difference between a good memory and a bad one is effort and training. After finding Ed Cooke's AMA via Reddit I have yet again had my world turned upside down. Ed Cooke, a competitive memorize-r hailing from the U.K. has set out to teach language through the use of mnemonics and memes. And to top it all off it's completely free: Memrise. This then spurred on the desire to learn more about the "latent power" with which Ed claimed we all possessed.
And lo and behold there was a Ted talk covering this very topic: Ted Talk. Joshua Foer explores the art and I would go so far as to say the craft of memorizing. A scientific journalist by trade, Joshua set out to uncover the world of competitive memorizers and to reveal what made them tick. In a short 20 minute video he recounts his initial meeting with these apparent "savants" and his immersion into the world of memorizing. He not only covers techniques for unlocking this "latent potential" but also identifies the greatest handicap many of us face: that we first have a bad memory but more importantly we are biologically condemned to idly stand by and accept our apparent fate.
In a world where "new" is king and old is archaic and ill suited for the ever changing times, Joshua reveals the ancient techniques that great philosophers, poets and leaders of old utilized in order to sway audiences to tears or war through intricate and lengthy speeches. Though these methods are nearly 2,500 years old, their present value still holds true to our day and age. He challenges the Tedx audience to ask themselves (paraphrased) : 'can we live a meaningful and memorable life if we are unable to remember it?" This great craft of memorizing and its popular practice - he argues was lost due to the cognitive outsourcing of information and memories due to technological advances. However, the emotional dissonance between the significance of any given experience and our current ability to remember it with any great clarity or as much as 3-5 seconds will allow leaves us with a diluted and lukewarm existence. It is our memories, Joshua contends, that mold and shape us into who we are and ultimately guide us in the direction of who we will become. Have we then outsourced our identities and personal narrative to the vines, twitters, facebooks and instagrams of our present age? Would we be able to remember those epic nights and incredible trips, meaningful friends we shared without the aid of these services?
Let us desire to remember to remember with the same intensity, richness and integrity our minds are able to afford us and our experiences deserve.
Weather: Snowy and cold
Music: Green Hornet - Kill Bill
Mood: Enlightened
----
I would wager many of you have been anxiously awaiting my latest post with baited breath! But truthfully I know that to be a vain expectation. The return to Seoul searching was prompted by my most recent exposure to a game changing proposal: the only difference between a good memory and a bad one is effort and training. After finding Ed Cooke's AMA via Reddit I have yet again had my world turned upside down. Ed Cooke, a competitive memorize-r hailing from the U.K. has set out to teach language through the use of mnemonics and memes. And to top it all off it's completely free: Memrise. This then spurred on the desire to learn more about the "latent power" with which Ed claimed we all possessed.
And lo and behold there was a Ted talk covering this very topic: Ted Talk. Joshua Foer explores the art and I would go so far as to say the craft of memorizing. A scientific journalist by trade, Joshua set out to uncover the world of competitive memorizers and to reveal what made them tick. In a short 20 minute video he recounts his initial meeting with these apparent "savants" and his immersion into the world of memorizing. He not only covers techniques for unlocking this "latent potential" but also identifies the greatest handicap many of us face: that we first have a bad memory but more importantly we are biologically condemned to idly stand by and accept our apparent fate.
In a world where "new" is king and old is archaic and ill suited for the ever changing times, Joshua reveals the ancient techniques that great philosophers, poets and leaders of old utilized in order to sway audiences to tears or war through intricate and lengthy speeches. Though these methods are nearly 2,500 years old, their present value still holds true to our day and age. He challenges the Tedx audience to ask themselves (paraphrased) : 'can we live a meaningful and memorable life if we are unable to remember it?" This great craft of memorizing and its popular practice - he argues was lost due to the cognitive outsourcing of information and memories due to technological advances. However, the emotional dissonance between the significance of any given experience and our current ability to remember it with any great clarity or as much as 3-5 seconds will allow leaves us with a diluted and lukewarm existence. It is our memories, Joshua contends, that mold and shape us into who we are and ultimately guide us in the direction of who we will become. Have we then outsourced our identities and personal narrative to the vines, twitters, facebooks and instagrams of our present age? Would we be able to remember those epic nights and incredible trips, meaningful friends we shared without the aid of these services?
Let us desire to remember to remember with the same intensity, richness and integrity our minds are able to afford us and our experiences deserve.
Monday, June 24, 2013
The road less traveled
Time: 1:19pm
Weather: Overcast
Music: none
Mood: stubbornly optimistic
----
Upon writing this I am happy that I took a little bit more time to reflect upon this last walk with Gao. To be honest I saw a lot of myself in Gao and I think she would say the same. Last Saturday, I met a fellow patient - also diagnosed with a terminal case of wander lust. From Scotland to Korea we had walked similar paths and delved into each of these rich cultures.While she attended St. Katherine's, my sister school, we both strove after understanding and excellence in our respective fields. She recounted her projects and writing assignments with great fervor and passion - more than I've ever heard from an accounting major.
Her creativity really sparked within her writing when she was able to include her family and their experiences. Gao, though the youngest of 11, possessed a strong sense of purpose and unshakable love for her family and relatives. At first, the distinction between herself and her family was very clear but as we continued to walk they blended together wonderfully. She saw a lot of her life experiences and aspirations in light of her family not in the shadow of a predetermined path or expectation.
Her perspective has successfully melded her family bonds with her sense of self and mission in life. Often only the shortcomings of a family are the source of negative inspiration. "I won't turn into my mother" or "i'll treat my family different than my father" but for her, she gathered all of these precious moments of family wisdom and added her own flare and narrative.
Gao has retaught me the value of family and strength of these bonds. The American obsession with rebellion instead of listening was successfully thwarted. I witnessed the celebration of Gao's family in her responses and enthusiasm. Each of her family members has lent her colors with which to paint a vibrant and rich narrative. Her family is not so much an intrusion but rather an infusion of life and vitality to encourage and support her future growth. I am so pleased to have met someone who has embraced the soil they were planted in and have made it their own.
Weather: Overcast
Music: none
Mood: stubbornly optimistic
----
Upon writing this I am happy that I took a little bit more time to reflect upon this last walk with Gao. To be honest I saw a lot of myself in Gao and I think she would say the same. Last Saturday, I met a fellow patient - also diagnosed with a terminal case of wander lust. From Scotland to Korea we had walked similar paths and delved into each of these rich cultures.While she attended St. Katherine's, my sister school, we both strove after understanding and excellence in our respective fields. She recounted her projects and writing assignments with great fervor and passion - more than I've ever heard from an accounting major.
Her creativity really sparked within her writing when she was able to include her family and their experiences. Gao, though the youngest of 11, possessed a strong sense of purpose and unshakable love for her family and relatives. At first, the distinction between herself and her family was very clear but as we continued to walk they blended together wonderfully. She saw a lot of her life experiences and aspirations in light of her family not in the shadow of a predetermined path or expectation.
Her perspective has successfully melded her family bonds with her sense of self and mission in life. Often only the shortcomings of a family are the source of negative inspiration. "I won't turn into my mother" or "i'll treat my family different than my father" but for her, she gathered all of these precious moments of family wisdom and added her own flare and narrative.
Gao has retaught me the value of family and strength of these bonds. The American obsession with rebellion instead of listening was successfully thwarted. I witnessed the celebration of Gao's family in her responses and enthusiasm. Each of her family members has lent her colors with which to paint a vibrant and rich narrative. Her family is not so much an intrusion but rather an infusion of life and vitality to encourage and support her future growth. I am so pleased to have met someone who has embraced the soil they were planted in and have made it their own.
----
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Universal Intelligence
Time: 9:40 am
Weather: Sunny and cool
Music: K-pop Pandora
Mood: Content
------
"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid" - Albert Einstein
During the brisk walk with an old college buddy, Ilya, the idea of universal intelligence emerged. Ilya, an engineer over at Seagate, brought with him a feeling of practical empathy mixed with a tried and true desire to continually learn. The gusto with which he spoke of his work was a refreshing reprieve from the more customary feelings of dissatisfaction that seemed so common among my fellow post-grads.
In this walk, we discussed processors to politics - post-grad life to postulating the immense value of the human experience. Because of the vast array of available disciplines offered at Seagate, Ilya has essentially entered a combination of workplace and university. Imagine if you will, (pardon my nerdom) that Ilya has merely selected one particular guild/group to join for now to understand and learn the tricks of that trade and in a couple of years he is then equipped to jump into a totally different field/guild (of course after completing all the side quests). These opportunities were not lost on this life long student and at times it felt like he was describing what future courses he hoped to explore.
This drive - this insatiable hunger to learn and to grow is not limited to the realm of preset fields or industries. It's when we understand that everyone is an expert in something that maybe they will in turn be willing to share their wealth of knowledge. Society could do no greater disservice than to trivialize the work of so many hard working individuals. It seems the agreement should be that society acknowledges and utilizes the wealth of knowledge and experience present and in response individuals seek to share the gifts, knowledge and experiences they possess. In this way, the perspective of the whole is seen as the sum of the individual contributions - inseparable and indivisible.
However, this proposition hinges on the desire of the individual to fearlessly pursue and grow, in not only becoming an expert, but also seek to improve and share the progress they have made/discovered. What makes for a competitive company also makes for a competitive society. Hear me out, it can be likened to two companies - one who is innovative and one who has one product that hinges on a trade secret. I believe a company that continually innovates and seeks to perpetuate a culture of endless improvement will far surpass the company who invests everything in protecting it's trade secret. I understand that the example I have offered is quite polarized and that many companies prefer a healthy balance of both but it's when this sort of spirit of innovation is not confined to the marketing/development/sales teams but rather expands to all aspects and dimensions of a company that innovation has occurred. Thus creating a culture of improvement in which every part of society has an equally valid voice in the discussion.
----
Weather: Sunny and cool
Music: K-pop Pandora
Mood: Content
------
"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid" - Albert Einstein
During the brisk walk with an old college buddy, Ilya, the idea of universal intelligence emerged. Ilya, an engineer over at Seagate, brought with him a feeling of practical empathy mixed with a tried and true desire to continually learn. The gusto with which he spoke of his work was a refreshing reprieve from the more customary feelings of dissatisfaction that seemed so common among my fellow post-grads.
In this walk, we discussed processors to politics - post-grad life to postulating the immense value of the human experience. Because of the vast array of available disciplines offered at Seagate, Ilya has essentially entered a combination of workplace and university. Imagine if you will, (pardon my nerdom) that Ilya has merely selected one particular guild/group to join for now to understand and learn the tricks of that trade and in a couple of years he is then equipped to jump into a totally different field/guild (of course after completing all the side quests). These opportunities were not lost on this life long student and at times it felt like he was describing what future courses he hoped to explore.
This drive - this insatiable hunger to learn and to grow is not limited to the realm of preset fields or industries. It's when we understand that everyone is an expert in something that maybe they will in turn be willing to share their wealth of knowledge. Society could do no greater disservice than to trivialize the work of so many hard working individuals. It seems the agreement should be that society acknowledges and utilizes the wealth of knowledge and experience present and in response individuals seek to share the gifts, knowledge and experiences they possess. In this way, the perspective of the whole is seen as the sum of the individual contributions - inseparable and indivisible.
However, this proposition hinges on the desire of the individual to fearlessly pursue and grow, in not only becoming an expert, but also seek to improve and share the progress they have made/discovered. What makes for a competitive company also makes for a competitive society. Hear me out, it can be likened to two companies - one who is innovative and one who has one product that hinges on a trade secret. I believe a company that continually innovates and seeks to perpetuate a culture of endless improvement will far surpass the company who invests everything in protecting it's trade secret. I understand that the example I have offered is quite polarized and that many companies prefer a healthy balance of both but it's when this sort of spirit of innovation is not confined to the marketing/development/sales teams but rather expands to all aspects and dimensions of a company that innovation has occurred. Thus creating a culture of improvement in which every part of society has an equally valid voice in the discussion.
Sunday, June 16, 2013
A Spirit of Adventure
Time: 5:22pm
Weather: The perfect Minnesota summer day
Music: The hum of the ceiling fan
Mood: Creative
-----
Today I had an opportunity to meet two lovely ladies; Madeline and her well mannered and adorable baby daughter, Juliet. These two are like two peas in a pod. Juliet, picture below, had a little charming smile that could make any day brighter. The connection that I witnessed between Madeline and Juliet really was something special. With each loving koo Madeline made, Juliet would bashfully turn her head to the side and smile as if saying "awwww shucks, mom".
With the arrival of Juliet and her recent betrothal to her husband, Jake, Madeline has begun a wonderful new chapter in her life. During our relatively short time together I could tell that Madeline had summoned the physical strength and mental fortitude only a new mother could possess. The evidence of some long nights and fatigue shown on the edge of her otherwise carefree smile as we discussed her upcoming trip to Korea to celebrate a second traditional wedding with Jake's friends and family.
The discussion swung between moments of intense excitement about this opportunity to delve into Korean culture and her husband's heritage. However, this optimism seemed to dissipate beneath the nervous anticipation of entering into a culture rich in traditions and complex expectations. Thankfully, her resolve and love of international travel and cultural immersion championed these fears.
Madeline's resolve she told me came with her re-dedication to her faith life. She showed me the power of perspective and seeing future challenges and successes in light of her walk with Christ. What was most inspiring was her realization that her personal adventure begins from within and it is our personal responsibility to sustain that spirit of adventure. Do not fear the adventure that awaits you, sometimes the adventure has a smile and is named Juliet.
Weather: The perfect Minnesota summer day
Music: The hum of the ceiling fan
Mood: Creative
-----
Today I had an opportunity to meet two lovely ladies; Madeline and her well mannered and adorable baby daughter, Juliet. These two are like two peas in a pod. Juliet, picture below, had a little charming smile that could make any day brighter. The connection that I witnessed between Madeline and Juliet really was something special. With each loving koo Madeline made, Juliet would bashfully turn her head to the side and smile as if saying "awwww shucks, mom".
With the arrival of Juliet and her recent betrothal to her husband, Jake, Madeline has begun a wonderful new chapter in her life. During our relatively short time together I could tell that Madeline had summoned the physical strength and mental fortitude only a new mother could possess. The evidence of some long nights and fatigue shown on the edge of her otherwise carefree smile as we discussed her upcoming trip to Korea to celebrate a second traditional wedding with Jake's friends and family.
The discussion swung between moments of intense excitement about this opportunity to delve into Korean culture and her husband's heritage. However, this optimism seemed to dissipate beneath the nervous anticipation of entering into a culture rich in traditions and complex expectations. Thankfully, her resolve and love of international travel and cultural immersion championed these fears.
Madeline's resolve she told me came with her re-dedication to her faith life. She showed me the power of perspective and seeing future challenges and successes in light of her walk with Christ. What was most inspiring was her realization that her personal adventure begins from within and it is our personal responsibility to sustain that spirit of adventure. Do not fear the adventure that awaits you, sometimes the adventure has a smile and is named Juliet.
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Walk the walk and Talk the talk
Time: 12:15 pm
Weather: Cool and bright
Music: The Great Gatsby playlist - Spotify
Mood: Content
----
Today was my first journey of many to take into a new world - a complete strangers life. Bianca, a bright and cheery 20 something had a carefree laugh and encouraging smile. As she spoke about her career dreams and relationship, she had a wonderful practical humor about her with a flare for zombies and semi-automatics. She gave me a brief glimpse into her family life and the surprising dynamics that her aunts shared through a rather physical medium.
She exudes hope and optimism about the things to come and is quite content with living in the present. Her imagination combined with her desire to learn will serve her well as she pursues event planning. Even during my wacky movie stories she didn't miss a beat. The only hesitation I noted was when she was discussing the "why" behind what she wants to do.
Like me, she occupies this limbo state between work and will. Is she willing to work or is her will in her work? As she discussed this she wore her emotions on her sleeve and wasn't ashamed of it. This hunger for adventure and a sense of purpose pervades throughout our generation. The desire to be challenged in new and meaningful ways must become a personal undertaking. It's about acknowledging how crucial novel and deep conversations are to the development and sustainability of life long growth. I look forward to witnessing the journey of this dedicated Whovian and seeing her life story unfold.
.JPG)
Weather: Cool and bright
Music: The Great Gatsby playlist - Spotify
Mood: Content
----
Today was my first journey of many to take into a new world - a complete strangers life. Bianca, a bright and cheery 20 something had a carefree laugh and encouraging smile. As she spoke about her career dreams and relationship, she had a wonderful practical humor about her with a flare for zombies and semi-automatics. She gave me a brief glimpse into her family life and the surprising dynamics that her aunts shared through a rather physical medium.
She exudes hope and optimism about the things to come and is quite content with living in the present. Her imagination combined with her desire to learn will serve her well as she pursues event planning. Even during my wacky movie stories she didn't miss a beat. The only hesitation I noted was when she was discussing the "why" behind what she wants to do.
Like me, she occupies this limbo state between work and will. Is she willing to work or is her will in her work? As she discussed this she wore her emotions on her sleeve and wasn't ashamed of it. This hunger for adventure and a sense of purpose pervades throughout our generation. The desire to be challenged in new and meaningful ways must become a personal undertaking. It's about acknowledging how crucial novel and deep conversations are to the development and sustainability of life long growth. I look forward to witnessing the journey of this dedicated Whovian and seeing her life story unfold.
.JPG)
----
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Beyond the meet and greet - how to thrive (not just survive) meeting new people
Time: 9:07 am
Weather: Cloudy and rainy
Music: "The gentle rain" - RJD2 remix
Mood: reflective
---
As the day of my first "Walk and Talk" fast approaches, I wanted to write a little bit about how I have overcome the fear of meeting new people. At first I relied heavily upon my skills and hobbies to engage with people in a setting I controlled. This was done primarily through card tricks.
Performing magic tricks provided me not only a highly memorable first impression but also a strong foundation in reading body language and expressions. In addition, it gave me an environment in which to test and practice new social nuances through timing and varying patter - the conversation a magician has with the audience. Due to the fact that a lot of the tricks I performed were impromptu I grew accustom to adjusting and making minute by minute alterations to my act in order to better entertain a new arrival or capitalize on a comment or expression of an audience member. But the biggest lesson was how to slow down and give each interaction I had with people the semblance of a beginning, middle and end. Through 100's of hours of performances in different countries (England, Scotland, Rome, South Korea and Mexico) these skills were honed and often relied on non-verbal communication to convey the performance.
Stories are integral to the human race, it's the very fabric of our societies - past, present and future. Through understanding this commonality we can then learn how to weave and construct strong, thoughtful and meaningful interactions with others - on the fly. Like any skill, this one takes time - often my stories were quite short.
Typical dialogue:
Pick a card - memorize the card - fall in love with that card - now place it among it's friends - give them a good shuffle - hold out your hand - was this your card? - no? - hold onto it as tight as you can - *taps hand* - are you ready for the magic? - Now was that your card? - yes!
With the use of showmanship and bravado I became the setting - the environment. I included them in the story through an interaction point - the cards. Through their interaction, they became actors and I personified the cards to fill out the cast. I built up the climax with a false twist - like in most great stories. Then provided them a fitting climactic finish - revealing their card has changed. Even though this story was only 1-2 minutes it is a very good story and is well constructed.
Once I had trained/performed/altered/trained/performed etc. in the art of story telling it wasn't very difficult to then adapt that to conversations outside of doing card tricks. Now when I speak to people I naturally and effortlessly slip into a story telling mode, following the same or similar order. This is often what people call self confidence and composure - I call it quality story telling.
Luckily, this is a skill. Let me repeat myself - THIS IS A SKILL. Something anyone can acquire through effort and determination. Many individuals often think people are born confident. However I believe the environment in which they grew up plays a much stronger role. Even though nurture may play a strong role the truly confident person is one who has bridged the gap between being externally motivated to being internally motivated. The strength of the mortar that holds your stories together is based largely upon your presence and the environment you create. (Please read that bit again) With practice, loads of humility and honing your ability to empathize with your audience; you can create stories that meet them on an emotional, intellectual and hopefully humorous level. I believe the pinnacle of empathy is when you can make someone laugh based upon wit and not vulgarity.
Now for me I used magic tricks to develop these skills and observations however I don't expect everyone to become David Blaine's overnight (ok maybe that's a bad example he's kinda odd) but I hope that you can take this experience and adapt it to your own interests or hobbies. The way in which to overcome this fear is basically frequent exposure therapy and your hobby/skill/interest serves as your entry point.
Think about it this way your hobbies/skills/interests as water wings and the pool as the fear of meeting new people. Once you have practiced and grown accustom to this environment with the aid of your water wings you will be able to graduate from this stage and swim freely with others, dive deep into meaningful dialogue, float effortlessly throughout social gatherings - and create some significant and meaningful waves along the way simply through uour presence.
Take Aways:
- Stories are the medium through which we communicate with others
- Learn how to tell stories - develop the skill of self confidence
- Hone your skill of empathy - pinnacle = tastful humor and wit.
- Remember you create the setting/environment others occupy when they interact with you (read again)
- Don't lean too heavily on your hobbies/skills/interests - keep your eye on the prize! (no water wings)
---
Weather: Cloudy and rainy
Music: "The gentle rain" - RJD2 remix
Mood: reflective
---
As the day of my first "Walk and Talk" fast approaches, I wanted to write a little bit about how I have overcome the fear of meeting new people. At first I relied heavily upon my skills and hobbies to engage with people in a setting I controlled. This was done primarily through card tricks.
Performing magic tricks provided me not only a highly memorable first impression but also a strong foundation in reading body language and expressions. In addition, it gave me an environment in which to test and practice new social nuances through timing and varying patter - the conversation a magician has with the audience. Due to the fact that a lot of the tricks I performed were impromptu I grew accustom to adjusting and making minute by minute alterations to my act in order to better entertain a new arrival or capitalize on a comment or expression of an audience member. But the biggest lesson was how to slow down and give each interaction I had with people the semblance of a beginning, middle and end. Through 100's of hours of performances in different countries (England, Scotland, Rome, South Korea and Mexico) these skills were honed and often relied on non-verbal communication to convey the performance.
Stories are integral to the human race, it's the very fabric of our societies - past, present and future. Through understanding this commonality we can then learn how to weave and construct strong, thoughtful and meaningful interactions with others - on the fly. Like any skill, this one takes time - often my stories were quite short.
Typical dialogue:
Pick a card - memorize the card - fall in love with that card - now place it among it's friends - give them a good shuffle - hold out your hand - was this your card? - no? - hold onto it as tight as you can - *taps hand* - are you ready for the magic? - Now was that your card? - yes!
With the use of showmanship and bravado I became the setting - the environment. I included them in the story through an interaction point - the cards. Through their interaction, they became actors and I personified the cards to fill out the cast. I built up the climax with a false twist - like in most great stories. Then provided them a fitting climactic finish - revealing their card has changed. Even though this story was only 1-2 minutes it is a very good story and is well constructed.
Once I had trained/performed/altered/trained/performed etc. in the art of story telling it wasn't very difficult to then adapt that to conversations outside of doing card tricks. Now when I speak to people I naturally and effortlessly slip into a story telling mode, following the same or similar order. This is often what people call self confidence and composure - I call it quality story telling.
Luckily, this is a skill. Let me repeat myself - THIS IS A SKILL. Something anyone can acquire through effort and determination. Many individuals often think people are born confident. However I believe the environment in which they grew up plays a much stronger role. Even though nurture may play a strong role the truly confident person is one who has bridged the gap between being externally motivated to being internally motivated. The strength of the mortar that holds your stories together is based largely upon your presence and the environment you create. (Please read that bit again) With practice, loads of humility and honing your ability to empathize with your audience; you can create stories that meet them on an emotional, intellectual and hopefully humorous level. I believe the pinnacle of empathy is when you can make someone laugh based upon wit and not vulgarity.
Now for me I used magic tricks to develop these skills and observations however I don't expect everyone to become David Blaine's overnight (ok maybe that's a bad example he's kinda odd) but I hope that you can take this experience and adapt it to your own interests or hobbies. The way in which to overcome this fear is basically frequent exposure therapy and your hobby/skill/interest serves as your entry point.
Think about it this way your hobbies/skills/interests as water wings and the pool as the fear of meeting new people. Once you have practiced and grown accustom to this environment with the aid of your water wings you will be able to graduate from this stage and swim freely with others, dive deep into meaningful dialogue, float effortlessly throughout social gatherings - and create some significant and meaningful waves along the way simply through uour presence.
Take Aways:
- Stories are the medium through which we communicate with others
- Learn how to tell stories - develop the skill of self confidence
- Hone your skill of empathy - pinnacle = tastful humor and wit.
- Remember you create the setting/environment others occupy when they interact with you (read again)
- Don't lean too heavily on your hobbies/skills/interests - keep your eye on the prize! (no water wings)
---
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